Let Me Draw Closer

I once had riches, holding articles others sought to gain. I once had a fame, walking neither height nor ground where my existence was non-existent. I once had mentors of great renown, acquiring a wealth of knowledge that drew envy. I once had many a thing. Yet what I had, others had too, and more. Electronic devices, jewelry and precious stones, carvings of the greater woods, designer clothing, vintage and sport cars.

We may hoard many things in life. Yet all things will come to pass. In time, circuits will fail us, silver will lose its shine, the oaks will come asunder, moths will feed on Prada and Ralph Lauren, Lamborghini plate-works will rust. Nothing lasts forever.

I may hold items of great value and beauty. Yet these are all temporal. Let all of my treasures flow out of the chest, let them all slip through my hands. For there is only one thing whose value is eternal. It does not dull with time. It is the one thing that I desire. A relationship with the Almighty God.

I live my life on that foundation. All things will come to pass, for nothing lasts forever. Every golden artifact will be lost, every success will be taken away. Time will place its hand on all life and all of life's possessions. Every statue's face will misshapen, every name will be forgotten.

Let me not hoard riches for mine keepsake. If I am given a coin, it is not mine, but merely having been placed upon my palm. All that I hold, I have not earned. For what I have taken, can be taken away. And so too, what is given. In taking, we are doing wrong, it would not in accordance with His purpose. For we should wait for God's timing, and receive with thanksgiving whatever He has given. Taking we should never commit, yet receiving has to be done in the right manner. Whatever we receive, we know in our hearts that we did not earn. Whatever we did not earn, we did not deserve. Yet all good things are from Him Above, so everything we have, we have received. I did not pick up the coin. It was placed onto my hand. Everything good I shall use for the furtherance of His kingdom.

Let me not pursue success blindly. I have made claims, and I mean to abide by them. I live my life centered around His purpose. If I had found success, it would be because He saw fit that it should be so, and that it would further serve His purpose. Wherever I stand, whatever the ground my feet walk upon, firm or loose, good or bad, it would be part of His plan. If I wish for an eternal relationship for Him, I should dedicate all of me to Him. At this point of my life, this would include my academic pursuit. What a hypocrite I would be if I slogged for my personal comfort, for my future, for my eligibility for a spouse, or any other reason or cover. These are fine things to seek, and I believe it is fine to seek them. Yet if they are not given, they should not be taken. For to take, would require the abandonment of the relationship with Him. What greater hypocrite I would be if I claim to be His servant, yet stop doing His work in favour of other pursuits.

We cannot say that we will leave His service, for just a little while, so that we can pursue our studies true and clear. Besides, there are other things in life that we could put aside for a time. If someone chose such a choice, and all he did was study, then I would have nothing to say. Though I would still think that leaving His service at any time would be a disfavour to Him and also to ourselves. But most of us would be lying if we made such a choice. For we would put Him aside, and still continue running amok with our acquaintances, indulging in our hobbies, and pursuing relationships with the opposite gender. There are many things in life to put aside in troubled times before we even start to consider to put aside God.

There will always be things to pursue in life. These things will never cease intruding into our lives. To say that the current pursuit, would be our very last, would be saying a lie. For these are two opposite paths, His chosen path and the path of the world. To walk down one way is to walk away from the other. There is no other way about it. If one's walk is not correct, and yet persists in his folly, is he not showing contempt for his Creator? There is only one direction in life that is right, and that is the path towards the gateway of heaven. There is no other way about it. I pray that I will constantly walk down the right path in the right direction, without veering to the left or to the right. There is only one solid ground. Let me give up all things if they prevent me from attaining a relationship with my Lord. Let me draw closer to Him, now and forever.


Johnston

The Fool's Prayer by Edward Sill

One could tear in shame when we read this work by the poet Edward Sill.

In pride our dues to God we spurn.

Perhaps it's time we take a turn.

The Fool's Prayer

The royal feast was done; the King

Sought some new sport to banish care,

And to his jester cried: "Sir Fool,

Kneel now, and make for us a prayer.

The jester doffed his cap and bells,

And stood the mocking court before;

They could not see the bitter smile

Behind the painted grin he wore.

He bowed his head, and bent his knee

Upon the Monarch's silken stool;

His pleading voice arose: "O Lord,

Be merciful to me, a fool!

"No pity, Lord, could change the heart

From red with wrong to white as wool;

The rod must heal the sin: but Lord,

Be merciful to me, a fool!

"Tis not by guilt the onward sweep

Of truth and right, O Lord, we stay;

'Tis by our follies that so long

We hold the earth from heaven away.

"These clumsy feet, still in the mire,

Go crushing blossoms without end;

These hard, well-meaning hands we thrust

Among the heart-strings of a friend.

"The ill-timed truth we might have kept--

Who knows how sharp it pierced and stung?

The word we had not sense to say--

Who knows how grandly it had rung!

"Our faults no tenderness should ask.

The chastening stripes must cleanse them all;

But for our blunders -- oh, in shame

Before the eyes of heaven we fall.

"Earth bears no balsam for mistakes;

Men crown the knave, and scourge the tool

That did his will; but Thou, O Lord,

Be merciful to me, a fool!"

The room was hushed; in silence rose

The King, and sought his gardens cool,

And walked apart, and murmured low,

"Be merciful to me, a fool!"

Edward Sill

an inspiration amidst boredom

Now edited by professionals, or so I'd have you believe.

Lady
My life in shambles, lacking all and having nothing.
Ten years have passed, and past all point of living.
That love I came to know.
It was so long ago.
He said he would return for me come winter or spring.

Man
My life in riches, lacking nothing and having all.
Ten years have past, in slums I had to crawl.
That life I had to know.
It was so long ago.
But then, I left that scum-filled place forever and more.

Lady
Could it be him? That man there bears his likeness.
Ten years have past, now past this life of bleakness.
That love I came to know.
It was so long ago.
And now he has returned to me, his love still no less.

Man
Hello stranger, whose rotting rags house rats and lice.
Hello stranger, why look at me with those eyes.
Come take a coin or two.
And now be off with you.
To say you are a pretty sight would say you a lie.

Lady
We were in love, love being all and needing nothing
Be off with me? As if he were no longer caring.
Can you not recall my face?
Memories of me misplaced.
And as I walk away from him, my entirety despairing.

Man
And here I am, back to change the slums of my past.
So long ago I was freed from the chains of my caste.
The things that now I see.
Fragments of my memory.
Now times have changed, it is the things I've built that will last.

Lady
So long I've waited, now he knows me no longer.
So long I've waited, but now I wait no longer.
This dagger I now plunge.
This heart I will expunge.
To the marring darkness of despair, myself I render.

Man
And now I recall, the piteous dreg that I had seen
That lady in rags, the love of my life had been.
I once held her in my arms.
Shielding her from hurt and harm.
What have I done? Of thieves and murderers I am akin.


Lady/Man
We were in love, love being all and needing nothing.
He/She was my world, all else beyond comparing.
Mock this wretched life of mine.
He/She is not for me to find.
If there's not meager hope of love, life's not worth enduring.


Notsnhoj

Edited by Christopher Yang and Judith Ooi

Refluxing Proverbs

Proverbs 1:7 - "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

Proverbs 1:8 - "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

Proverb 1:10 - "My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them."

Proverbs 3:1 - "My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart."

Proverbs 3:3 - "Let love and faithfulness never leave you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."

Proverbs 3:5 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

Proverbs 19:11 - "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

Proverbs 19:18 - "Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party in his death."

Proverbs 19:21 - "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

Proverbs 20:19 - "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much."

Proverbs 20:22 - "Do not say, 'I'll pay you back for this wrong!' Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you."

Proverbs 20:24 - "A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?"

an appeal for disclosure

Quiet the noises. Stop the squabbles. Do you not hear the sweet sound of laughter? Do you not feel its merriment and the peace that it brings? It soothes the giants and quells the raging waters in me. A lady's sonance. It speaks of tranquility, of tenderness, and of affection. Of love! I say. I hear her speak. Layoff with the hubbub. Listen to her. I am unhinged. Thrown into the turmoils of anxiety. I swim in its swirls and uncertainties. Do you not hear her melody? Let me find her. I know she is there. I sense her presence. Who is she? Let me see her face. I hear her. Silence now! Hide the children. Make the rounds. Track the sounds. Seek out her sanctuary.

And as I try to find out where, I am here, and she is there.

Notsnhoj