An Illustration Of Sin

I saw a picture of two persons oblivious to their surroundings. Behind them, a wave of tremendous power was approaching, towering frighteningly over them. What could have better illustrated our blindness to sin? I then imagined an image of God there beside them, His hand stretched out toward them. I wrote this very simple poem to remember this picture.


Human

Our wills are resolute, our faces straight.
Our hearts are hardened in this charade.

But the waves are high, the forces strong.
His face is there, the master of wrong.

He lurks in the darkness where we cannot see.
By the time we know, we cannot flee.


God

"My feet are rooted into the ground.
I am here, my balance is sound."

"My grasp is firm, my grip secure.
I am here, I am your cure."

"Hold my hand, your wounds will be healed.
Cling to me, your life will be filled."


Human

My ears are deaf, I hear you not.
Now by this storm, I will be caught.

Help me to hear, and build my faith.
Help me to trust that you'll keep me safe.

I hear your voice, I hear you call.
Lord, hold my hand, do not let me fall.


Johnston

Les Miserables - On My Own

Eponine

And now I'm all alone again, nowhere to turn, no one to go to
Without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near
Now I can make believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me

In the rain
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights
Are misty in the river
In the darkness
The trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

I love him
But everyday I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness that I have never known

A Prayer For Faith

In the book of Habakkuk, Habakkuk questions God firstly of why the unrighteous of Judah go unpunished. God brings into revelation that He will raise the Babylonians against Israel. Habakkuk then questions of why God would allow an ungodly people to inflict suffering upon a godly people. The answer was that all would be judged, Judah, Babylon, and all else. Though, the righteous would live by their faith, even if they got caught up in the conflict. Yet even amidst these trialing times, Habakkuk concluded it all with a powerful confession of faith.

Habakkuk 3
17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength, he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

And so I pray that when my life is covered in the shadows of trouble and hardship, I will quiet my turbulent soul amidst my focusing on the Lord who is my redeeming light. I pray for faith. That should the malevolent of the world cloud me with confusion and the ones I hold dear decline to intervene, that should I fail realise reality and my sanity coalesce with delusion, that should I tread the paths of darkness and light should shine no more. That I should know that the Lord is Master of my life and Keeper of my soul. So that when my life is no longer filled with goodness, I will trust in His plan for me and follow Him till I die.

Johnston

1 Peter 5:6-10

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.
7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the Devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

a longing of a dream

Her words unsettle me. Her presence flusters me. I have heard little of her voice, and seen little of her face. Yet she bothers my thoughts on a daily basis. She is always the theme within my dreams. I am a simpleton, to seek what I know nothing of. Is there a word greater than naive? Or a word that means double of foolish? Then I must be these things. For I cannot forget her. She is always at the corners of my eyes, whether the lids are open or closed. She is the genre and discourse of my life. What a struggle it is to control my pain! I relish just so many things. To see her again, be it in time or in haste. To settle my palm upon her pretty face. To hear her sweet voice sound and mellow my heart. To give her my all whether in whole or in part. Let her ask, and I shall come. I long for that better day.

Notsnhoj

Climbing Out Of Filth

I am a criminal and a law-breaker. I have displayed disdain for what is good. My words are not here to defend me, but to expose me. I have shown utter contempt for cleanliness, and thrown myself into filth. The slime is slippery. The grime is sticky. I yearn to climb out of this unwholesomeness. Yet how do I accomplish such a feat? I am not Achilles, nor be I Alexander. I am Johnston, small and insignificant. I wish for fresh air and the cleansing light. I want to lean on the strength of the Lord. Father, please help me so. Teach me so.

Johnston

His Love Endures Forever

What greater love than that of the Lord's? That we should lose ourselves over and over again, and yet still He wants to find us. That we should have upset Him so many times, and yet still He wants us back with Him. And I? There is nothing I am more grateful for than His unfailing love. For the weakness of this creature are many. The things that I cannot accomplish cannot be counted. The ways I am defeated are a great host. I have fallen from Him time and time after. Had my master been another, my transgression would have found me wanting. However, I was forgiven instead, and I was freed from my shackles. What manner of conduct is this? That I should have been repaid in goodness for my crimes. The Lord's love is boundless. I was unclean and leprous, cursed to be isolated from life. But He renewed me, and gave me breath once more.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure.
That He should give His only Son,
To make a wretch His treasure.

Johnston

To Live What's Real

Thanks be to God that I have gained new sight and wisdom to life. Or rather that I have finally been able to see, after having been blind. And that I have finally been able to think clearly, after my mind having been muddled. Glory be to the Lord of the Highest Heavens, for He has taken me back under the refuge of His wings, stained as I was in blood and all manner of filth. I had once been living on the border of my life, always straining for the things that were always out of reach. But now, I am living what is real. Life that is centered around Him Above.

He has been a tree of many leaves, providing me shade from the sun. He has been a mountain, sheltering me from harsh, rugged winds. He has been a breeze, keeping me cool. He has been a flame, warming me in times of cold. He has been a light, showing me where I should safely thread.

Psalm 36:7, "How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings."

Notsnhoj

the realignment of my senses

The days of gloom have finally come to past. Tomorrow will be my re-entry into the world. Once again, will I know life as it was. Once again, will I see the scenic views and hear the melodic sounds. Once again, will I smell the beautiful scents and taste the vibrant flavours. On the morrow, once again will all that was, come to be. I have lived a time of sorrow and lack. I knew neither relief nor joy. The simple pleasures of the day were a foreign article. I had neglected those close to me, and banished them afar. Those who sought me for comfort, I shunned. Those who sought me for advice, I kept silent. Those who trusted me, I betrayed with my indifference. Those whom I knew, I said I knew not. I was either blind or foolish. Maybe I even was asleep. But now the world has spun around, and I am facing the right direction. Now I embrace life with my realigned senses. I see the things I had been blinded against, and acknowledge my failures. Now I have acquired the knowledge of my wrongs and crimes. And the burden of that knowledge has pulled me under. Too long have I abandoned what was dear to me. Too long have I misplaced my priorities. At this time, I recognise the old goodness, and I will cling on to it like my life depended on it. For it does. For without the old goodness, I would be living the life of pitiful lack that I had been living for the past two years. My renewal I will treasure. And I fear not failure, for I know that that will never come to be. For new life and light, guidance and strength, granted I am, from Him Above.

Notsnhoj

the folly of mine own

It was almost like a dream, from the moment I turned and saw her face, and saw that the voice I had heard came from those lips of hers. Though there was conversation, I found that as each second that toiled by, my ability to speak was diminishing. I had ended the conversation out of haste, rather than following its natural order. Even as I hurried away, I felt as if the innards behind my belly had risen to my chest, and my lungs had entrenched themselves in my throat. My pulse had been racing faster than the paddling feet of a duck. She came and she took all away. My composure. My reserve. Mine self. The lady, with all her gracefulness and beauty, had flipped me like a coin. I was bowed over. My heart is hers. My mind too. And mine eyes. Here, take mine ears. And so followed the all of my entirety.

Notsnhoj